hey there my shona

Hey there my shona
I have been stupid 
On occasions
You are far away at end 
And me here on shore

Hey there my.shona 
I might not.be a person
You dreamt of 
I might not b d answer
To all your problems 
A.thousand reasons 
to say no
But I have the solution
Oh I know...

Hey there my shona 
It's been time 
Since you been happy
Let me make you smile 
N blush n jolly
So forget the world a while 

Hey there my shona 
These texts are only things 
That keeps me alive 
In ur life one human being 
Oh how much I want to be there
Oh hope would u know..

Hey there my shona 
I really miss you 
So keep trying
I never meant to
Be the reason of ur crying 
But I m sorry 
I couldn't go ..
Go away...


Hey there my shona 
I really want to b with u
My day n night starts with u
I dont know how to express it
But there is only one thing 
That I know
I just want to keep u smiling so
N I wish I b there through 
Times thick n thin
By ur side a lose or win 
I really don't know 
How could I make u believe so
So I wrote this song... :)

Wait..

It gets bitter as days pass
When your thoughts encompass 
It was just yesterday .. it rained 
It feels time has now abend..
And I still wait at that garden chair
My eyes affixed at those stairs..
I can see your steps in sand 
I can feel you holding my hand 
But you are not here ...invisible
N your return however may seem impossible
I will b here waiting ...

Wake up sweetness

Wake up sweetness

Wake up oh oh love

For the sake of me

N the angels waiting above...

The sun has gone up

The birds are out of their nest

It's time to stretch out

Jump out of that bed ..

    

When you wink your cute eyes

Eyes just out of slumber

The soft hairy curls falling on ur cheek

Tat pink ting on your cute nose

N when those feathery lips smile

I forget where I am for a while ..

   

Wake up wake up

Jump out of your bed 

Hot coffee on table 

Awaits with toasted breads..

N i know how much you like 

Lazying n lying on that bed 

So if you won't come down

I would carry you instead..

  

So wake up wake up

The world awaits along with me

Just one more day I feel blessed

Waking you up my sweet serenity ..

Nothing left to say

I look back in time
searching you my rhyme
It hurts ..oh baby it hurts..
Suddenly everything is absurd
You took the first step 
I did necessary not to follow
You walked away
But I still stood there 
With a broken soul so hollow
And its over and you move on
One day you will be 
Someone else's song
But I am affixed what went wrong
I did so much for so long
All I wished to be with you
Though you never loved me
And when your time arrived
You just walked away 
Walked away breaking my heart
Nothing left to say...

Left in Despair

You dont know how it feels

You wont ever know

How could you ..when would you

Could just keep ignoring so

I was there through times 

so rough and strong

I was there through out

no matter right or wrong

But now when the times have gone

You are back who you ever were..

But i overlooked I was hopeful

With you I could share...

But sadly you didnt change

Never had a moment to stop and stare

I wish you never read this

I dont want to tell you that it aint fair

I hope someday you realize

I feel rejected and left in despair..

Someone I used to know

You came in my life 

But of course like a beautiful lie

I tried but couldnt be more

Have just ran out of tries

 I don't know I am not sure

Are you unaware or just ignore

I am tired and I want more 

I did my best to comfort you 

Walked by through rough times

I was loyal and never lied

To surprise you I always tried

But still I think I went wrong

I know its you for whom I want

To write this song

Don't lie to me plz don't 

You never loved me and ever won't

I feel hurted n I feel low

When I realize I misunderstood

Someone I used to know...

waking up is the hardest part

As the end creeps by your doorsteps
The shadow of the day grows darker
The trembling leaves on a dry tree
A restless soul waiting to be free..

God asked why are you so sad
Why are you bound into this world?
What has chained your spirits?
Why is your smile downward curled?

God replied the noble soul
I am in search, search of my heart
I gave it to someone dear
But she lost it tore it apart..

God I dont wish revenge
And I dont need any sympathy
I just want to accept and live
Come out of this apathy

My child wake up life is so long
You must not regret you did nothing wrong

Dear Lord, said I , when you sleep with a broken heart
Waking up is the hardest part...

When there would be no you...

I am holding on to you
You were so far away
I held on even though I ever knew
You would just move on
This feeling is not new

You came in like a breeze
So much warm
Yet cold inside to freeze
I couldn't understand I was blind
I thought you would come with me
Leaving everything behind

Hey love its sad to end like this
You know how much I would miss
I dont want to sleep tonight
Because i dont know
What would I do the morning next
In a life when there would be no you..

Back to the start

Cant calm down a troubled heart
Helpless cant even go back to start
If something you adore wants to part
Something close to your heart
But you can't help you need to let go
Letting go shouldnt been so hard
If you knew it was never gonna fit
Still you moulded to cast her a space
Closed your eyes to draw her face
But when the time has come it haunts
When you are asked to leave 
And you can do nothing as it was always clear
Invisible voices of past you hear
And it is too tough it is too hard
Moving on and beginning from the start...

Acceptance

Hey pretty lady why won't you 

Why won't you stay a while

I have got your favorite flowers

Why couldn't you be back

I wondered what went wrong

I was there and will always be

I made promises for life

But now it ends suddenly

Hey my lady I feel a little sad

Why you hold back

There is a strange acceptance

In your sweet sudden denial..

I wish you all the best

I would try to move on now

But no one can ever replace

Your place your touch

I will wait if someday

If life will bring back you

Someday somehow some place

I will still be standing

With a smile and arms wide open..

Love is too innocent

In this world where its all lost

Lost all its meaning what it ever brought

Someone you care for but to be left

Who never came to know that you wept

Love has lost all its essence

When your good wish becomes a burden

Shallow reasons they start to pretend

And when you are ready to leave

You turn back you see them in need

And selfless how much you can be

You know you wil regret at the end

But stay back even being ignored

you know you are there in her times of need

But an advice my pal try to be heartless

Love is not appreciated any more

All you can do is just hang on to the end

When again you gonna be left alone

And she would move on forgetting you were there

And then my dear friend you will apprehend

Love is too innocent for this world to understand

Problems..

Different are the people in this world
Different textures different minds
Problems in everyone's life is relative
Everyone has his reasons for crying
Someone cries for more money
Some beg for even a nickel or penny
Some desire a bigger and better car
Some have to walk barefoot distances far
Some nag about the food in canteen
Some have to scavenge from garbage bins
Some cry over failed relations
Numerous problems with numerous reasons
Only one thing drives this life so estranged
The hope that one day these times may change

PS: I love you

I hope you would be reading this

it would be months since I died

i know i wont be there with you anymore

but its now enough, enough you cried

you must carry on but never be sad

whenever you feel low, close your eyes

Think about all the good times we had

And i will be there always around you

you must stay strong and carry on

And if in life at some turn you feel

Someone comes and comforts you

My absence does he ever heal

Dont hold back and just move on

You have cried enough, waited so long

My presence wont be there literally 

But I would be happy looking from a distant

I just want to see you happy

And never ever be hesitant

Remember my sweet I will always be around

And when you have moved along through

I would be in heaven smiling ..

saying PS: I love you..

A short meet

NOTE: BELOW IS A COMPLETE RESULT OF FICTION AND IMAGINATION...

After a long wait of 5 months, my travel back home got confirmed. We been texting and  talking to each other since quite a while and it was more than 6 months that we last met. I  remember the night I arrived at Vadodara station, it was raining heavily. But in the middle  of the rains, ( drenched ) I felt warm and happy, smiling like a mad guy; thinking finally  the moment is here and I am going to meet you soon. 

After a day of waiting desperately, Monday arrived. We decided to meet up at the same old  cafe where we used to hang out often. I remember you always complain I come up late but  actually I always arrive well before time but get late doing preparations for the little  surprises for you. So this time I arrived half an hour early, only to know that you wouldn't  be able to reach before half an hour past the decided time. So I waited for one long hour thinking  about the last time I met you, you were about to board a busy train, rushing and shoving off  people to get through the door. I remember when I told you about this, you said "atleast  memories toh achi rakha kar (lol)". The time arrived when you finally arrived. You were  angelic as usual and I noticed the beautiful mehendi on your hand about which you were  talking about. It was looking wonderful. 

This time I didn't prepare any surprises. Because this time I decided I would propose you  for the first time in person. You were right in front of me, yes it was the right time.Now  or never, I had to take a side. But I was unable to say it, I bailed out. The situation was  my heart was screaming it out loud but words wont utter out. But I really enjoyed a lot  hearing about the lovely ceremony at your house. Your pranks, the moments of joy and the sad  ones you shared. I was just so engrossed in you ,hearing from you in person after so many days that truly  speaking I just remember a few details you mentioned but I remember very lucidly your every  expression, those beautiful eye movements and that sweet smile every now and then. Our small  meet ended and we were back home. Texting each other as usual and it was the first time  actually you were the one first to comment about my shirt(he he). I remember I texted you  that I couldn't actually say what I came for, and in reply you said that you dont need to as  I read it in your eyes. One of the memorable moments actually got enlisted at that time.

Day2 arrived. It was a bright sunny Tuesday. You were out at the hospital and I started my  work from home. We decided to meet up at that stupid fastfood restaurant. So cutting short  the excess details I arrived again well before time and you reached late but seriously I  dont mind waiting for you. Tuesday was a real special day. We can say that day was just  fabricated for us. Just as we met, it started to rain heavily, unexpectedly on a bright sunny  day. And out of the nowhere we decided to go out for a crazy walk in rain. That one hour is  just inexplicable. It was the most wonderful hour of my life.  Everlasting memories I will  have about it. I remember we were walking down the lonely road. The green lush invigorated  the entire environment. We were drenched from head to toe but we kept on walking, talking,  laughing at those taking refuge under shades, visited the temple. We were splashing and  jumping in the small puddle of rain water just like kids. People around surely thought these  kids have gone nuts. And then while we were returning in front of that green golf course I  proposed you. I don't know how I got the strength to do so suddenly but may be the situation  and the setup was so wonderful that I got my moment of inspiration to just do it. I actually  didnt even fear what your answer would be, because I was already well aware of it, but it  was worth trying. Anyway though you put my proposal down again, I really felt at peace  letting it out. Saying each and everything I really felt about you in person, and now I feel  our relation is smoother and more comfortable than ever before, right!? We stood by the  green field staring at the horizon, the sky started to clear up and you were sharing your  happy old school memories. I promise someday I will take you to that spot you always wanted  to visit. The two sides of the gate, there existed two complete different worlds. On one  side, our side, we were happy and carefree. On the other side, was the reality, work and  responsibilities.

Next day, we planned to go for a movie. Although truly speaking the movie was stupid and was  a complete non-sense but watching it with you made it special. This was the first time, we  actually went for a movie together. I came to know you love cheese popcorn. Infact anything  with cheese, and you will love it(he he). 

We met again on Thursday though for only sometime in the evening. I got you your favorite  flowers and tried to pull out a magic trick but it was a real bad attempt(:)). So we chatted  for a while and then back on our way home only to find the same day, stupid govt put  up the 5 sms rule. And on friday you had your big treat for your parents.It was so difficult  to be in touch without texts and I missed you a lot. You promised to meet on Sunday but you  couldnt because you had your classes till late evening. 

Phew..! it was Monday and you were able to come finally. Again you kept me waiting and  waiting as you felt asleep, your precious siesta. It looked like you were just out of bed  but still you were pretty as ever before. It was pharmacy week if I am not wrong in your  work schedule. So relatively you were free in afternoon. On the next day, my mom found  out that birthday sticker(the one you gave on my previous birthday) and I had to answer a  lot of difficult questions. Yes I kept it safe and even today I keep it in my wallet.

We met again on wednesday afternoon, after your work, in your favorite dominos. Though I  couldn't enjoy as much as you did that day savouring the pijjhaaass, but it was fun. Really  you were very hungry that day .(lol). It was thursday that we couldn't meet up as you were  very busy studying in addition to watching movies (;-)) and attending conferences.

Friday was pretty nostalgic for me. It was the last day I had that I could meet you. I had  to go back on Sunday and I know saturdays and sundays are very hectic for you. I was sad  with the thought when I would again get a chance to spend time with my angel. I thought of  making it very special. I was eager to meet you but it went past 5 o'clock and you didnt  respond. I called you up but only to get you into trouble. I am very sorry for that angel. I  thought you wouldnt come now and I was sitting alone in the garden pondering how in a matter  of minutes I screwed up everything. I was very upset. But then you called up informing that  you were coming. For a while I couldnt believe but yes you were coming. I had just 5 minutes  before you reached, so I rushed to get your favorite flowers and chocolates. You arrived in  the simplest form as possible yet eternally beautiful, sweet and angelic as never before. I  accompanied you for your shopping and then on my suggestion we stopped by the same old cafe  we love to hang out at. I rushed to the cafe to reach before you just to instruct the waiter  to hide my little surprise and bring them on my instruction. We were sipping coffee and  sharing thoughts when my surprise came. I can't forget the expression on your face when the  waiter brought the flowers and the chocolates. I am glad I could make you happy and I really  wish I could fill your life with all such small surprises and beautiful moments of joy. 

Now I am back to my world and leaving you. I miss you a lot. I hope one day I would have  done more than words could say and showed you that my love for you is real and then it would  be needless for you to say that I love you.. 

Those two weeks had been full of happy memories and special moments. I hope you cherished it  too. I hope to see you soon again, my angel!

Like a video

If life was a like a video 
Played as you like,your show
Record those few minutes special
Rewind back for some rehearsal
Save those which couldnt happen again
So that you dont miss them then
Pause a while to think and question
Distances wouldnt matter in relation
Take a snap and paste it out on wall
Be happy looking at it if ever you fall
And there be more reasons to live 
No more pain if some dearer leaves
But life is like an hourglass sand
Its inverted and running to end
There is nothing you can hold back
Nothing, you can keep always a track
There is just this moment that will last
But just not long enough to cherish the past

With memories left to weave

Everytime I meet you
See your photo with that smile
My heart cries and says
Can't you stay a bit more
Stay back for me... for a while
Your arrival is like resurrection
A spring summer for blossom
Like a frog waiting for the rains
You are near I can see the clouds
But cant feel you why dont you rain
And time will come soon when I will leave
Empty patches in life with just 
Memories left to weave...

5 Texts

Its just five texts I am left

The number 5 left me bereft

Text one I think to wish 

You a sunny day

Take good care of yourself

Well needless to say

Text two I wish to ask

What you doing buddie

Its been a while

Since we met last

Text three I want you to know

I am alright and day was ok

I miss you and I feel low

Text four.. well I just want to forward

Hope it brings a smile

And washes everything bad

Text five I want to greet you 

My sweetie sleep well

The stars are waiting

for their sweet angel

You might be wondering 

Why havent i sent any of them yet

No my angel dont dare to think

Texting you.. I can never forget

And here comes the notification

Cant send this is restriction

Your texts are barred for the day

Because you already texted

I love you Five times a day...

Loving to live in a dream

Since the day I met you last
I have been in a constant chase
I have been living in the past
Stuck in the middle of that day
I always wished that sip of coffee
The chocolaty piece of cake
I hope they never ended
You staying a while more for my sake
Oh how much i miss your laugh
How much i miss your smile
That look, those eyes, that cute nose
Why couldnt the time just freeze 
And everyday I wake up, all i think is you
if i got to meet you everyday
even though for a minute or two
If i could bring you flowers everyday
If every greeting in person I could say
May be this wouldnt be ever true
But i love to live in a dream loving you..

What is it that separates love from attraction?

Yesterday when I was out with one of my friend, he asked me a question. I bet everyone of you reading this post might have come across it, in some or the other way, in your life. He asked me that what is exactly the thing that differentiates the way you look and think about the girl you love and a random hot chick passing by? Usually what people say is that they don't fantasize 'things' about the person they love as they may do for a random person. But is it that couples in a relation aren't doing the 'things' ? So what is that thing which separates love from attraction?

Well if I speak in context of bollywood then guitars, violins and saxophones start to play whenever you come across someone whom you love. Sounds pretty unrealistic indeed but what it signifies is that there is an unknown feeling that arouses when you talk to that special person. So how to know if that feeling is indeed out of love or just an urge? Speaking of what I experienced is whenever you are near that special one you stop caring about the world. You just go into high impedance state for the entire universe but all you want to see and listen to is from that special one. Einstein's theory of relativity can help you too. Suppose you are sitting with the girl/boy of your dreams , say you are on a date, and it seems the clock is running too fast then consider you are enjoying the moment. On the other hand, if you feel the minutes are as long as hours then my dear friend you should apply the emergency exit strategy.

So is it that the fantasizing thing separates love from attraction? Before jumping to a conclusion, I would like to bring to your notice that love and sexual flings go hand in hand. I think couples who share intimacy are in a healthier relationship. So what is it that takes to differentiate between these easily amalgamable feelings? According to me, suppose if you see a random attractive person and try to remember him/her, how long can you do? How long can you remember his/her traits that pulled your attention? If you remember it for like a day or two or if you are talented enough (:P) then for a week , then rest assured it was just an attraction. But if you come across a person whom you can just never forget. Even at the middle of the night, amidst your sleep, if you are awaken and asked questions about him/her, you can definitely answer each and every detail precisely. This is called love. It will be like you will close your eyes and if you want to visualize him/her then you wouldn't find it difficult to do. If you pick up a pen describing him/her you will end up writting tens of pages still having more to say.

So here it is. I tried to answer you mate(referring to the person who asked me the same question).

Emotions Turmoil

Like a dying star it has increased

Soon to explode and deceased

I am tired of expressing myself

Trying hard but just couldnt let it go

Sorry love my heart isnt a rock

Like yours if you want to think so

Why is everythin hazy 

Or has the sky turned red

My eyes are filled with blood

I have no tears left

And still you have no answer

You have no pain

I bet you dont remember me

About you is so insane

I keep thinking of you 

I keep missing you

But you dont feel the way I do

I should have given up

Now I am shattered buts I wrote my own fate

Will be forever yours,  be it all a waste

Sleep

I dont know why I fall asleep
Never needed to count sheeps
You find me standing or sitting
You find me head down or up reading
The guy is awake thats what you feel
Deception is the art I practice with zeal
I can sleep with eyes open or closed
Sleep on keyboard,typing stance posed
sometimes I get too comfy on my rocking chair
Take the liberty to take off the shoe pair
Put the legs against the table 
Murmurs in my mind A Drowsy fable
And then my friend my eyes are lost
Gosh no one cant wake me at any cost
And there stood my chief in anger frozen
Sire this aint a path I myself chosen.

A sweet desire with a hope in vain

If forever be the time it will take
Your sweet stubbornness to shake
If the ink in the blue is meaningless
Shouting out loud still speechless
If it is the scroll in blood that may prove
So be it if then you see the truth
My words may sound mixed, unclear
You may even lie to make me cheer
Truth is each time I think about us
It pulls me inside deeper and deeper
And I stand helpless but enjoy the pain
A sweet desire with a hope in vain.